Confessions of an Alter Ego
‘Ello babies… how are my invisible readers doing today? I know, I know. I’ve been m.i.a. from b.i.a. [blogging in action]. However, I’m back.. stacked.. and more serious than a heart attack! What son?! Ok.. I’m quite sure I can guess what you’re thinking.. “wow, Lola’s gangsta!”.. actually i kinda am… i’m so gangsta.. that I am gangstar [pronounced: jang-star]. It must hurt to know how much cooler I am than you are. [Angie: someone ate their ego flakes today, hmm?]
So today after spending hours upon hours within my lovers arms, I turned to him and he professed his undying love to me and pledged that we would be together until the end of time. I then, overcome by emotion, began to weep.. for i too felt the same way for my lover as he did for me. [END SCENE] Oh my how scary would it be if I was actually like that. That whole scene kinda makes me want to puke. I mean, I like love, like romance, but I myself am not exactly the “romantic” type.. I am not really turned on by the thought of a dude wisping me away to some romantic country [for this example I’ll use France] simply because he feels like I need him to do so. I don’t need someone to bring me to the eiffel tower to propose simply because it was a dream of mine when I was 5 years old. C’mon… I grew up. I’m not like that anymore. I feel like teens and college aged students are beyond that. That shit is sooo 1999. Idk I just think we’re more realistic.. don’t fly half way across to the country just because you want to screw me… I get it you have needs. Ask.. and ye shall– well actually you’ll probably be denied but hey I really will give it a thought or two. Awkward how my dreams of yesteryear and my personality of today just don’t match, huh?
I was watching “I Think I Love My Wife”.. good movie. I think that’s what’s gotten me into this rut [ya know.. being all pessimistic about love and such.] IDK it just made me think. Are people really happy when they get married? Is there even a way to be “happily married?” What the hell does “happily married” mean anyway? Marriage is such a ginormous thing in our culture [Angie: yeah and so is divorce] yet no one ever stops to explain anyting really. One just has to jump into it and see what it’s like for themselves. Maybe that’s WHY divorce is so darn popular in our culture as well. We don’t know what we’re getting into when we get married.. essentially all women want is the wedding. They want the dress, the hair, the make-up, the presents, the attention.. the blah blah blah. And Men.. well I just usually assume men want to make women happy.. and they want their basic needs fulfilled: food and sex. So if one reads between the lines, both partners seem to want attention. However, you can’t give attention, when you’re trying to get attention. Thus, the marriage has officially failed.
It’s kinda sad when it gets to the point that we are at when married people are actually a minority in America. I look into a crowd of people and find some married couple.. most of the time my first thought is, “You know you motherfuckers don’t match.” Ya’ll are on the misery train.. a party of like idk 40% of the country. Where as everyone else is supposedly on the idk.. party train i guess? That’s what movies like to show. [Angie: Lemme tell ya I’m single and I’m not really partying and living it up like movies and junk make it seem.] In reality being single means one thing: you’re alone. However, in marriage you have someone with you forever, for better or for worse. Yet, American’s don’t seem to do that “for worse” part too well. It’s rather worrisome.. (sp?) Fact of the matter is, married people just don’t fit in anymore. Getting married just isnt the cool thing to do.. correction STAYING married just isn’t the cool thing to do anymore. So all in all, married people walking down the street hand in hand with you’rre 2.7 children and you’re white picket fence, I’m sorry to say it but uhh you guys just don’t match, you’re not what’s good, not cool, not poppin. Get divorced, then we’ll talk.
The same sentiment goes for couples that don’t look right together either. I, Lola, am a stone cold Foxxx, thus I can make judgements on other’s appearances (Angie: really now?) Lest we forget, I am a figment of Angie’s imagination. I do not really exist. So I am obviously gorgeous! Who has ugly figments? Anypoo.. back to my original premise. If you’re a tall girl.. find a tall guy please?! I’m begging you here.. Idk why it just dones’t seem right to see a short guy with a tall girl. And I know what you’re thinking, “Who am i to say what’s ‘right’ or wrong?” I agree.. however.. it just goes back to the matching thing.. you motherfuckers don’t match. You know you don’t.. and you are at fault for forcing me to see you in your unmatching state of being. Idk.. maybe I am just hating.. I mean, shiiiit, I’m female– meaning i was born to be a hater. Personally I think it’s my OCD kicking in I mean.. let’s be realistic here, my OCD can’t fuckin handle this hot guy with an ugly girl shit. It’s just too hard for me to do. So for my OCD’s sake lets leave the beautiful people [like Lola] for other beautiful people. And ugly people.. idk go find some other ugly people and a lot of booze.. You can make it work.
Perhaps some of the things I have said might offend you, or maybe they have caused you to completely hate me.. ehh remember these are just the Confessions of an Alter Ego. So please, to my invisible yet still adoring fans… practice that unconditional love I hear so much about, and turn the other cheek after reading this blog. I’m not exactly in the best of moods. Pardon moi.*bows out of view… music stops… spotlights go off* [END SCENE]
Abracadabra Homes!♥
Spice up your life.. via vocabulary
SO.. the fact that i am almost forcing myself to do this right now is pretty much proof that i don’t have the discipline to be a writer.. now i know what you might say: “you’re tired, it’s late,” or “maybe you just don’t have any thoughts to divulge on to the internet,” maybe even “writing a blog is nothing like writing a book, so don’t say you can’t do it just because you didn’t want to write your blog.” Good Job attentive readers.. those are all very good realizations [yes i do know that i came up with those quotes myself but hey i gotta give any reader i have some love, non?] Oh and if anyone is reading this, you must understand this is my blog, therefore my world. So from time to time you might see me jump from english to french to spanish… and perhaps into my own hopped up version of slang. BTDubbs.. my take on slang is pretty freakin awesome, if i do say so myself (which i obviously just did.) Furthermore, this jumble of Englenchish-slang is A. Copywrite by Angie the Awesome-o inc. a subsidiary of Etch-a-Sketchin Lola corp. and B. often accompanied by poor grammar and even worse punctuation [but Hot Damn can i fucking spell.] Actually let me take that back, I mean although I am very good at spelling– i gots the certificates to prove it– I might not read back over my work some most of the time. This lack of re-reading tends to lead to a large amount of typos. Here I’ll help you guys out by giving a list of my most common typos. Feel free to refer to it at anytime. [isn’t it great that I’m writing this as though people are actually reading this? HA!]
LOLA’S THE BESTEREST TYPIST EVER [Soooo sorry, ego kicked in a bit]
MY MSOT CMMON TPYOS…translation: my most common typos
-msot.. most
-teh.. the[yet sometimes i do meant for it to be read/said as teh]
-pron.. porn[don’t use the word much but i do spell it wrong all the time]
-no..now[.. you’ll read the difference.. here i go talking to that imaginary audience again]
-ahve..have
-adn.. and[DUH!!!..]
ok now, honestly if you come across any of those typos and don’t know what they are.. well then maybe I DONT want you reading my blog. I’m just kidding i lubbers my invisible audience!*hugs*
WORDS SPELLED WRONG YET NOT TYPOS
..so as the title of this list would lead you to assume, these are a list of words that i INTENTIONALLY misspell.
-soooo= so.
-waaaay= way.
-whatevs= whatever.
-prolly= probably.
-forevs= forever.
-bout= about.
Obvious? I think so too. I am just trying to make my blog more idk “readable” i guess. There’s a slight possibility that I might have just made that word up.. but hey what’s life without a few made up words every once in a while. C’mon.. made up words add adventure to your life.. they keep you on your toes. So how bout this I propose a game: everyone in my invisible audience has to come up with a word of their own and throw it into any conversation. I don’t care what it is or how it’s used.. just do it. Something this small could change your life for good[Angie: really Lola?] It can. Nay, it will. Spice up your life… via vocabulary. [Lola: oOo good blog title]
Ahh… i just completely confused 17 of my invisible readers. Yes I am Angie.. Yes I am Lola. No I am not crazy.. well that’s yet to be decided by anyone who counts. So why the distinction.. I have taken a page out of my besties book and decided to try an alter ego.. Ladies and Gentleman, invisible and visible alike, please welcome… *drumroll*Lola! *fanfare and confetti* So Lola and Angie will both pop up here and there.. please don’t be alarmed.
♥ Abracadabra Homes!
Hello world!
So.. this is blog numero uno.. I figure having a blog might be cool. Dont exactly know what to write but i’ll try to figure it out as it goes.. ermm.. so yeah. “We wasn’t ‘posed to make it past 25, the jokes on you we still alive!” So yeah I’m watching Don’t Be a Menace to South Central while Drinking Your Juice in the Hood on Stars in Black and I had my usual thought about how racist the whole damn channel was. Then I realized if the channel is Stars in Black and made for black people, does that mean that the regular Stars is for white people? Like it doesn’t make sense to me, the channel says stuff like “empowering black people” blah blah blah.. but isn’t it less empowering to segregate something like TV? Shouldn’t that shit be like politically incorrect? idk. whatev. I suppose it’s not important enough for anyone else to care.
oh and some of you guys might be wondering what exactly my username means.. It’s supposed to look like this: Etch-a-Sketchin’ Lola.. well I like drawing.. so that’s the etch-a-sketchin’ part.. and well Lola is probably the most ultra omega femme name i can think of, like Lola Bunny. Plus, my name didn’t sound right with the etch-a-sketch thing; so overall Lola just fit perfectly.
Wow, 3:27 am and i’m not even tired.. surprising, no? Anyway this blog might be here there and everywhere but i guess it’ll do for the first one. I swear I’ll be better next time.
Abracadabra, Homie!♥
Honest to Blog? 